The Bull Pen: March 2009

Many of you know that I am a lifelong biker.  When you think of bikers what comes to mind?  Law breakers?  Tattoos?  Loud Pipes?  Trouble Makers?

You may be surprised to know that as a demographic, bikers contribute more to philanthropic causes than any other group of people in the nation.

I know, some of us including me look kinda scary but once you get to know us you may find that we actually are decent folks.

Much has changed over the years but I am still troubled by the perception that many of you have of us bikers...

Many bikers have a softer side and are damn sensitive.  To prove my point I want to introduce you to one of my most excellent biker brothers Ed.  Ed is a hard core biker who logs a ton of miles and when not riding, Ed serves the people as a police officer. 

Ed has raised many thousands of dollars for charity and works tirelessly on behalf of less fortunate folks.  Ed also has a sensitive side....  Dont believe me?  Watch the video...  Nuff Said....

 

Look into my eyes.....  That's right, now I will use my Vulcan mind meld on you........

I can read your mind.  I know what you are thinking... I know what you intend to do...

What's this?  You want to run a corporation and make a profit?

You want to reward your employees if they are successful and apply a strict code of ethics?

Not on my watch... You think the American people will stand for this.

No, not on my watch....  You see, corporate America is evil.  Just look at AIG...

It doesnt matter that you may be different....

All corporate America must come under my powers...

The Washington Federation of Liberal Politicians will grant me power over you....

You just wait and see...

 

 

What's that?  Remember, I can read minds...

You think I am not relevant any more because Star Trek has been off the air for years? 

Check out my new gig... 

How do you like me now? 

Live Long and Pay Taxes....  So I don't have to..

 

SSSSHHHHHH.... Be Vewwy Vewwy Quite..  I am going to let you in on a big secwet................

Until now only my gwoovy fwiends Hiwwawy, Bawack, and that nice wady nawncy pewosi knew my secwet....

My fwiends and me all speak im code and da wabbit we awe humting is wad we call your money.  We wike your money.. I mean wabbit... and we gonna get it... 

We gonna get dat pesky wabbit....

You just watch and see.

Wanna know my other secwet?

I am not weally a cartoon character.

Wets keep this our secwet for now....

 

Be vewwy vewwy quite. 

Here wabbit wabbit.......  

 The Bull Pen

America Needs Heroes, Not Zero's

Welcome back to the Bull Pen. If you don't remember me, my name is Dean Akey and I will be your guide for another fun filled edition.  Are you ready?  OK then, let's get started...

It seems to me that the tail has been wagging the dog for far too long.  Let's face it; a majority of our elected officials have simply lost touch with us, their constituents.  Our elected officials need to remember that they were "appointed" and not "anointed".  In the past few months we have seen more zero's than in any time in history.  Those zeros came from us and went for pork laden stimulus packages, an omnibus spending bill with close to 9000 earmarks which totaled over $5 billion dollars and the list goes on....

Enough is Enough...  America Needs Heroes, Not Zero's...

I want to introduce you to Dave Zien.  Dave served as a Wisconsin State Senator from 1986 - 2006 and has been a "man of the people" both in and out of office.  Dave earned a Purple Heart while serving our country in Vietnam as a Marine. 

Impressed yet?  Read on.  Dave holds 109 long distance riding records.  As a legislator from 1986 to December 1, 2006 Dave logged 1,327,500 total miles on two wheels.  Now you may be thinking, did this guy ever work?  You bet he did and I wish other elected officials worked as tirelessly as Dave does.       

In addition to being a riding machine, Dave initiated the first major veteran's monument that recognizes motorcyclists...Wisconsin Veterans Tribute, Cadot, Wisconsin.

Dave also helped coordinate the largest object left at the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington, D.C. (a handmade custom Harley, 1998) and was inducted into the National Motorcycle Hall of Fame Museums at Anamosa, Iowa, Pickerington, Ohio and Sturgis, South Dakota.

When not riding, Dave has run 11 marathons (26.2 miles each) carrying a 3X5 USA flag on a pole to honor fallen veterans and as a reminder of POW/MIA's.

Dave's accomplishments are legendary but here is one that will blow your mind.  While Dave has logged over 2 million miles in the saddle close to half of them were on his 1991 Harley FXRP.  On April 4^th, Dave will hit 1 million miles on his trusty scooter.  That's 1 million miles on one motorcycle.  This will be a world record. 

To celebrate this true American hero and honor his accomplishments there will be a "Landing Party" at Hal's Harley Davidson, (one mile south of I-94 at the Moreland Road exit) New Berlin, Wisconsin, on April 4th at noon.  The party is being hosted by the law firm of Hupy & Abraham.  Hupy & Abraham has sponsored Dave and his attempt to set this world record.  You also probably have heard of Hupy & Abraham as their generous support has helped put close to 500 new Rescue Riders on the road in Wisconsin, Illinois and Minnesota in the last year.  Many thanks to Hupy & Abraham for all you do to help the biker community.    

Our friends from the Patriot Guard Riders will be lining the streets and waving flags as the procession arrives to honor this milestone and show appreciation for all that Dave has done for veterans and bikers over the years. 

Did I mention that Dave is a Rescue Rider?  Dave will be dedicating his landing to Wisconsin based Accident Scene Management who have trained over 10,000 bikers nationally in emergency response and the Rescue Riders.  Please come out and join us at Hal's to celebrate this world record and honor a true American Hero.  I hope to see you there. 

On March 15^th, Dave celebrated his 60^th birthday.  When asked about aging Dave said, "Age is a figment of the imagination. We really don't get old, we get wiser, but our soul is always young."   I couldn't have said it any better my friend.

Well, that's it for this month.  When I am not sharing my wisdom with you via my Thunder Roads editorials or running the Rescue Rider program, I run an insurance agency West of Chicago.  I enjoy working with fellow bikers helping you protect what matters most.  If I can help you with your insurance please drop me a note at deanakey@allstate.com or give me a call at 877-232-9899.  I would love to hear from you.  Until next month, enjoy the ride.

 

I miss Neighbors & Nabors.  Who could forget the lovable Gomer Pyle that Jim Nabors brought into our homes every week.

Actually, what I miss even more is neighbors... When did our society really hit the crapper?  This last weekend my son Clay and I were working in our wood shop making crosses for Clay's Grandfather (Dan Cahill) who was recently diagnosed with terminal cancer. 

Dan is a father of fourteen children and has always taken great comfort in his relationship with his family and his God..

Clay wanted to make something special for his Grandfather so we have been working the last two weekends making crosses for Dan and his Children. 

On Saturday afternoon Clay and I took a much deserved break to enjoy the weather and set up our targets to do some target shooting in our back yard.  About fifteen minutes later two Kane County Police Officers were in my driveway. 

Yes, I do live in the County and am outside of the city limits and two sides of our property back up to hundreds of acres of farmland.  As soon as I saw the officers they started laughing. You see, I am the Chaplain of the Blue Knights Law Enforcement Motorcycle Club and personally knew these officers.  They informed me that my neighbor had called the police and asked that I be arrested for shooting. 

We spent a few moments reviewing the laws and regulations and discovered as I had known that what we were doing is 100% legal.  Not to be content our neighbor requested I be charged on a noise violation.... No dice, nothing illegal there as well.  Is this sounding like white trash heaven yet?  The funny thing is that I don't even know my neighbors name but have always waived hi and been cordial.  I guess it just goes to show that some folks aren't particularly neighborly...

After the drama we went back into the wood shop and continued our work.  Clay asked me what we should do to "get even" with our pesky neighbor.

 

 

"Nothing" I said....  Then I thought for a moment... You know what I think we should do?  "What" Clay asked....

I think I will give her one of the crosses we made when we are done.  Just anonomously put it on her doorstep..... 

Yep.... That's the ticket.

 

BTW, my name is Dean Akey and I want to be your insurance agent...

 

 

                                                                                                                            

 

 

[Bull Pen News]   ***Breaking news***

March 13th.... Friday the 13th...

According to unreliable sources, Mexican President Felipe Calderon is considering a massive spending program to fortify the US-Mexico boarder fence which has been called the Great Wall of Mexico. 

It appears that President Calderon and the citizens of Mexico are concerned with the masses of American Citizens who are hoping to enter into Mexico in hopes of finding employment and escaping the massive tax increases that are on the horizon...

Unnamed senior leaders in Washington have shared President Calderon's concerns and are supportive of efforts to keep US citizens in America.

"Paying More Taxes is the Patriotic Thing To Do" said Vice President Joe Biden. 

One unreliable source is quoted as saying "How are we going to collect all of these taxes if our citizens are in Mexico"?  "You don't actually expect the current administration to pony up do you"?

 

Wishing to remain anonymous and called by the name "P. Dizzle Dog"(PDD) our Bull Pen Reporter (BPR) asked the following.

BPR: Why are you trying to enter Mexico"

PDD:  I am looking for a job and once I get one I want to keep some of the money I earn.

BPR:  So you have been unsuccessful entering Mexico to date?

PDD:  Yep, the citizens of Mexico don't appreciate us taking their jobs and draining their economy.

BPR:  What kind of work do you do?

PDD:  I sell insurance

BPR:  This sounds kind of extreme.  Do you really think our Government will tax you that heavily?

PDD:  You are kidding right?

BPR:  Are you going to try to enter Mexico again tonight?

PDD: Are you crazy?  There is a new issue of Earl on the tube tonight.  Geesh...

 

Well, I guess that sums it up for now.  I hope you have enjoyed this breaking news and my Friday the 13th story.....   For those of you who may not know yet... I made all of this up except the Biden quote... That guy scares me....

Have a great weekend and please remember, I sell insurance and would like to be your agent. 

 

 

 

                                                                                                                            

 

 

It's a sad day for all Americans.  President Obama signed the massive Omnibus Spending Bill today behind closed doors at the White House. 

President Obama acknowledged that this is an "imperfect" bill.  Imperfect is an understatement.  This bloated bill contains nearly 8000 earmarks that add up to about $5.5 BILLION DOLLARS. 

On the campaign trail Senator Obama promised to eliminate earmarks and promised us change....  Now President Obama insisted the bill must signal an "end to the old way of doing business."

President Obama, in the south we call this "Fixin to get Started".  You promised us change we can believe in and the end of the pork laden earmark process.  Now you have signed this bill and whamo..... There goes another $5.5 Billion out the window. 

"I am signing an imperfect omnibus bill because it's necessary for the ongoing functions of government," Obama declared. "But I also view this as a departure point for more far-reaching change."

President Obama has stated that he understands that earmarks have bred "cynicism", and he declared, "This piece of legislation must mark an end to the old way of doing business."

Did you believe this?  This legislation must mark an end to the old way of doing business?  What does that mean to you?  I read President Obama's quote as acknowledgment that the massive bill he just signed is full of pork and in direct conflict of the promises he made on the campaign trail. 

President Obama recently passed the 50 day mark in his first 100 days as President.  The first 100 days in any new administration is typically a newsworthy event.  Lets all hope President Obama will use the next 50 days to keep some of his campaign promises.

I was quite happy to see President Obama reverse the ban on stem cell research so cudos for that one...

Now if we can curb spending and get some of your cabinet members to pay their taxes maybe we can get this train a-rollin once again...

President Obama, we are all counting on you to deliver the change you promised.  This spending bill is business as usual in Washington so lets try a little harder next time. 

 

 

 

Ok, so maybe the title of this article is a bit misleading but not by much. President Obama is within days of signing the Omnibus Spending Bill that not only increases government spending by 8% but also contains close to 9000 "Earmarks". If you dont remember what Earmarks are, these are add ons to the federal budget that were not debated and many are considered the purest form of pork. Wait a minute, didn't President Obama promise a stop to this evil earmark spending? So what kinds of things will you be spending your money on with these earmarks? How about $1.3 million to study pig gas odors? Ted Kennedy has asked for $5.8 million for the design of a building and an endowment fund. Lets face it, if you were a Republican in the last two elections it was hard to get elected due to the fact that a majority of Americans did not approve of President Bush. President Obama, you made the American people promises we intend for you to keep. You promised us change. This Omnibus Spending Bill with all of it's earmarks is not the change we were promised. Keep your word and lead us out of these dark times. I am a member of a group called Citizens Against Government Waste. If you would like to join me in regaining control of America I suggest you join us.. The site for CAGW is http://www.cagw.org/site/PageServer?pagename=homePage My name is Dean Akey and when I am not sharing my thoughts with you I sell insurance. If I can help you please call me at 877-232-9899.